By Family Law Complex Litigation Advocacy PLLC | December
Every December, as Santa checks his list twice and parents frantically check their parenting plans three times, family lawyers everywhere experience a particular kind of holiday magic: the sudden hope that this year this year our holiday wishes might finally come true.
Not the impossible ones, like an inbox that stays empty for 24 hours. Not the mythical ones, like a co-parenting pair who agree on everything. No, this is the Realistic Holiday Wishlist, crafted by lawyers who know better than to wish for peace on earth but still cling to the dream of peace in their email.
And while Santa may be busy delivering drones, pajamas, and gaming consoles, I like to imagine him reaching into his bag and saying, “Ah yes… another lawyer asking for the impossible but still slightly plausible gift of cooperation.”
So, here it is.
The holiday wishlist every family lawyer secretly and not so secretly wants.
1. Clients Who Email Before It’s an Emergency
Let’s start with something simple: time.
If I had one seasonal wish, it would be that clients contact me before exchanging attorneys’ fees for anxiety.
You know the drill:
- “Help, we have a crisis!”
- “When did this happen?”
- “Three weeks ago but today felt festive.”
How delightful it would be to open an email on December 12 that says:
“I have a feeling this may turn into a problem around the 24th can we get ahead of it?”
That, my friends, is better than any peppermint mocha.
2. A December with No Surprise Ex Parte Motions
A lawyer can dream.
While the rest of the world is baking cookies, attending concerts, and losing gift receipts, family lawyers are refreshing the court calendar like stock traders watching volatile markets.
If Santa is listening:
I would love a December with no one filing a motion because the other parent purchased a non-organic stocking stuffer or exchanged the child at 4:37 p.m. instead of 4:30 sharp.
A peaceful holiday ex parte calendar?
A miracle on 34th Street seems more likely.
3. Co-Parents Who Follow the Schedule They Agreed To
Ah, the schedule. Such a beautiful piece of work when first drafted.
A harmonious plan written with love, cooperation, and the belief that nothing will ever change.
Except things do change, and suddenly the parenting plan becomes a choose your own adventure novel.
Most family lawyers would gladly accept the following stocking stuffer:
- Parents who actually read the schedule.
- Parents who understand the schedule.
- Parents who follow the schedule without needing interpretive dance explanations.
A holiday miracle? Perhaps.
But again this is the Realistic Wishlist. I’m keeping the bar low.
4. Declarations That Contain the Relevant Facts And Only the Relevant Facts
Look, I deeply appreciate a client’s desire to be thorough.
I do.
But when the declaration starts with “In 2009, before our second hamster died,” we begin straying from the judicial runway.
What I wouldn’t give for declarations that:
- Contain dates
- Contain facts
- Contain events that matter
- Contain fewer personal memoir chapters
Nothing says “season’s greetings” like a concise, relevant declaration that doesn’t require a beverage to process.
5. Opposing Counsel with Holiday Spirit or At Least Holiday Boundaries
I love my colleagues. Truly.
But the holidays bring out two kinds of opposing counsel:
1. The Let’s All Be Reasonable Unicorn
These are the ones who reply with:
“Let’s work this out cooperatively before we involve the court.”
They are rare.
They are magical.
They should be protected at all costs.
2. The December Warrior
This one sends 14-paragraph emails on December 22, cc’ing every living person including perhaps a reindeer and expects a same day reply.
If Santa is taking requests, I’ll take a stocking filled with Lawyers Type #1, please.
6. A Child Exchange That Happens on Time, Without Drama, and Without a Parking Lot Confrontation
Is it too much to ask?
A holiday exchange that doesn’t involve:
- A late arrival
- A passive-aggressive comment
- A third cousin attempting conflict resolution
- A vehicle idling in the background like a getaway car
In my dream holiday, the exchange is calm, timely, and may even involve a genuine “Happy Holidays” from both sides.
It’s the legal equivalent of seeing a shooting star.
7. A January Without 400 Emergency Calls
The first Monday of January is known as National Divorce Day, and it has the same energy as a retail store on Black Friday.
Everyone wants help.
Everyone needs answers.
Everyone wants to know if the holiday meltdown qualifies as a legal emergency.
If I could put one thing on my holiday wishlist, it would be this:
A January where clients reach out with clarity and preparation not panic and screenshots of text fights from New Year’s Eve.
Call it a gift to humanity.
8. Parenting Plan Disputes That Don’t Escalate Into Historical Treatises
Another humble wish.
Most parenting disputes concern:
- Pickups
- Drop-offs
- Travel logistics
- School transitions
And yet, somehow, they occasionally evolve into a comprehensive saga covering:
- The 2015 housewarming party
- A disagreement about a blender in 2019
- The Great Halloween Costume Conflict of 2021
If Santa could drop off a “Relevance Detector” one that gently nudges people back to the topic at hand I’d gladly leave out extra cookies.
9. A Magical Holiday Energy Shield That Deflects Extended Family Opinions
Extended families are like popcorn machines: they operate quietly for 11 months a year and then explode into activity during the holidays.
Suddenly:
- Grandma becomes an expert on high-conflict parenting
- Cousin Melissa recommends “just calling the judge directly”
- Uncle Ron diagnoses everyone with narcissism
If Santa could drop off a protective shield labeled “NO UNSOLICITED LEGAL ADVICE BEYOND THIS POINT,” I’d install it in every household.
10. Clients Who Give Themselves Grace
This may be the only sincere item on the list.
The holidays bring stress, pressure, and the unrealistic expectation that everything should be perfect.
But in real life:
- Co-parenting is messy
- Emotions get loud
- Plans change
- People stumble
If I could give clients one real gift, it would be this:
Permission to be human, breathe deeply, and remember that one imperfect holiday does not define your entire family story.
Closing Thoughts: The Best Gift of All
While Santa may not deliver magical co-parenting devices or time-traveling declarations, a family lawyer’s Realistic Holiday Wishlist contains things far more valuable:
- Preparation
- Communication
- Stability
- Reasonableness
- And a mutual desire to put children first
If the holiday season inspires even a few families to adopt those principles, then that’s more magical than anything wrapped in red and green. And with that, I’ll hang my stocking, close my inbox temporarily, and wait to see what holiday miracles legal or otherwise the season brings.
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Family Law Complex Litigation Advocacy PLLC
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